Teaching is Hard

I'm have been teaching in some capacity since 2003. I started out as a substitute teacher and did that while I went BACK to school and got my teaching certification through a Career Switchers Program. This is a great way to go if you have already graduated from college, by the way. It took about six months to complete (going two nights per week and every Saturday morning) and I got a job right out of the gate. I interviewed at two middle schools and one of them offered me my first job. 

I started out teaching sixth grade ELA (English and Language Arts) and did that for two years in northern Virginia. Then I got married and moved to Maryland and taught a year of seventh grade ELA there. This brings me to my first beef - it is not easy to move a teaching certificate from state to state. Each state has different requirements for teachers. Moving oftentimes means going back to undergrad to take a history class or something that you did not take that they think you need to take. Ugh. Luckily, Virginia to Maryland wasn't too bad and I could start right away. I had two interviews and got a job offer from one of those.

My husband's job has us relocating quite a bit. We are not military family mobile, but pretty mobile all the same, moving every 3-6 years. After Baltimore, we moved to Bloomington, Indiana. There I went back to subbing because there were no teaching positions to be found. Indiana University is right there and it is a teacher factory. I had a second job during this time as a medical assistant, which I kept for four years - teachers don't make enough money to live off of one job. We often need to work two. I honestly had such a hard time getting back into teaching that I almost went to nursing school. I took more classes and tests, and got my Indiana teaching license. I subbed for two years and then landed a job at a private school teaching pre-K and then kindergarten. I even started a Masters program. Then, guess what? We moved.

To Illinois. For whatever reason, Illinois does not make it easy to get a teaching certificate. I subbed for a year, was an aide for a year and then got a job as a fifth grade teacher, which then segued into a first grade position (big jump here, and not legal to make a teacher do this, but did it anyway). I loved working with a predominantly Hispanic population. The families were as supportive as they could be and the I felt like I was making a positive impact. After those two years, Illinois changed the licensing requirements and I was no longer eligible to teach - after getting a Masters of Science in Education and teaching for eight years. Soooooo, back to school I went, and became a paraprofessional in the meantime. By the way, I was also working at a bookstore and tutoring students to supplement my income during this time. Finally, I landed my dream job teaching fifth grade math and science. Then we moved.

To California. For those of you who don't know, California makes it very difficult to get a teaching license. It was a big move for my girls and so I planned to take a year off to help them acclimate. I joined a gym and signed up for Pilate's. In that class, I met two teachers and they recruited me. I started guest-teaching at their school in February and was offered a job teaching fifth grade for next year. I have my substitute certificate in California, but since it is a private school, I do not have to be licensed in CA. I just have to have a teaching certification somewhere, and my Illinois license is still good. My plan is to apply for my CA certification while I am teaching and get that in place. I'm teaching in a private school again. The people are kind and the classes are small (~20 kids). I mostly teach math and science but have a reading and writing section thrown in as well. I have a teaching assistant and my partner, who teaches mostly humanities and ELA, and she has a teaching assistant as well. I feel very fortunate, and a little out of my element. The families are wealthy and the school provides for everything. Honestly, I have run the gamut in my career.

I have been in this field for 16 years. I have seen many teachers come and go. This is an honorable, difficult profession. We don't teach for the money - we do it because it is a calling. I work through the summer, planning for the next year, meeting with teachers, planning field trips, decorating and organizing my room. During the school year, I work 8-9 hours per day in the building and then work 1-2 hours per night at home. I stay late on Fridays getting ready for the week ahead. If I call in sick, I have to plan out every minute of my day for someone else to (hopefully) teach my students. If someone else calls in sick, I have to use my planning time to cover their class. I get multiple emails per day from parents, who are oftentimes asking questions that would have been answered had they read my weekly bulletin.  I get emails from students asking for directions that I have already given. I go to Bat Mitzvahs, soccer games, community plays, beauty contests, and spaghetti dinners at churches to be with my students in my free time. I go on overnight field trips that take me away from my family for days at a time. I have my own children help me put stickers on papers and my husband sometimes helps me grade.

I have countless mugs, apple themed items, candles and gift cards. I love every gift I get because I know that child was right there thinking of me. I have letters that I have kept for 16 years or less. I have crafts that are homemade and even some jewelry. I love my students and their families. I have held students after they received bad news, I have sometimes delivered that bad news because their parents didn't know how. I have bandaged bloody wounds, held ice packs to swollen eyes, and packaged teeth for the fairy to come that night. I have celebrated birthdays and half-birthdays and am learning about all of the Jewish holidays. I have taught half in Spanish and and now learning (slowly) some Hebrew. Teachers are always learning, so that we can continue to teach.

Love your teachers. We are tired and trying and loving your little people. We are human. We get sick and overwhelmed and sad. We are not paid enough to live on our own on one job, but we keep showing up. We pay for your kids supplies when you don't send them in. We give gifts from our own pockets and plan parties, escape rooms and scavenger hunts. We stay late for conferences and open houses and we miss our own children's school events to be at yours. We give all that we have. It is not a thankless job, but it is a hard one. And you could not do yours without us.

The Funniest Book I've Ever Read

Ok, I realize that the title of this post may seem like an exaggeration, but it's not. I have read a LOT of books in my life. My guess is over 5000. I'm no expert, but I think that's a lot of books. And this one? This one is the funniest one I have really ever read. It makes me laugh out loud. In bed. To the point of tears. Dan gets irritated - maybe because he is sleeping when I read at night and most of the time this is not an issue. When I read this book, it is though. Because I laugh, snort, cry and then have to get up to go pee.

I could have taken a picture from the internet, but I really like the pattern of my mom's couch, and so I used my own non-centered, non-professional photo.

I think Jenny Lawson is supposed to be my best friend. She is neurotic and lovely and possibly my soul sister. Her book is the best thing ever. You have to go buy it now, or borrow it from the library. I guess you could also steal it from a friend, but not a store because they would prosecute you and then you would go to jail and not be able to read this book. Unless they had it in the jail library. Then you could borrow it, like I suggested in the first place. 

Taking Care of Family

Dan and I have always had an agreement about our parents. If and when our older family members start to go downhill and need help, we will go to them with no questions asked. We feel that it is our obligation, and honor, to take care of them at the end of their lives just as they took care of us at the beginning of ours. We have parents who will not want to move in with us, but will prefer to live out their days in their own homes, or at least on their own terms. That said, we are prepared.

I have a friend who has a PhD in gerontology. She is an expert on the elderly. Talking to her makes me see how sad many of our elderly have it in the United States. For the richest country in the world (or one of them), this is very, very sad.

Let me make this clear. These people brought you into this world. You would not be here at all if it weren't for them. Got it? You owe them. If they want to go into a retirement home, then put them in one - the best one you can possibly afford. They won't live forever. Make the end of their lives the best that you can.

If they want to live out their lives in their own homes, but they need help. Help them. Move in with them, or near them. It's only temporary. Do this for them. Hire help for them if you have to, but make it so they can live where they want to live for as long as it is healthy for them.

If they want to move in with you, make the space. They did it for you. It is your turn. People in the U.S. just take, take, take. It's time to give.

I know that whoever reads this may strongly disagree with me on this and I am sure that everyone thinks they have an extenuating circumstance, but I do not care. This is my blog. My opinion. My sounding board. The fact remains, and you cannot argue with it, that you would not be here if it weren't for them.

Pthhhhhhbppp. 

Halp! When Does This Ride End??

I have two daughters and a bonus-daughter (who I sadly don't see very often). My oldest (biological) daughter is 13. Dealing with her on a daily basis is like riding a roller coaster. She is happy. She is angry. She is crying. She is happy again. IS THIS NORMAL? I have not been able to spend a lot of time with my bonus-daughter during her teen years because she is living in another state, so I don't have a lot of personal experience.

I am a fifth grade teacher, but my students are better behaved than my sweet baboo of a daughter. Plus they are younger, so maybe not on the hormone-a-coaster that A is on.

Today's episode of How the Teen Turns is brought to us by me. She loves to play the flute and has been at it for four years. I signed her up for flute camp at George Mason Community Arts Academy. (Insert vision of riding a roller coaster up the hill. Slowly. Clackety clack, clackety clack.) She is excited because she gets to stay the week on a college campus with a flute-playin' roommate and everything. Clackety clack. She is excited because she gets to eat at the student union and play her beloved Betsy (do all musicians name their instruments?) all day every day. Clackety clack. She is excited because she will be in charge of herself (with an RA nearby, of course). Why can I only see sky?? Where is the rest of the track??

Now, picture the zooming downhill at an uncomfortably steep angle and speed. Here we go. Too late now. She is NOT excited because I signed her up to play at the student recital, which is where she plays part of a song for her peers. She is very upset with me for this and threatening to stop playing flute forever. Really? REALLY?? This thing costs a lot of money (to a teacher, anyway) and she is pissy with me for pushing her out of her comfort zone.

Pushing kids out of their comfort zone is what I do for a living. I am a fifth grade math and science teacher. I LIVE outside of the comfort zone. Just do it, kiddo. Like that time you didn't want to learn to ride a bike because you fell. Get back on and do it anyway. Try again. Like the time you did not want to learn to swim because the water was too cold/deep/scary. Take a breath and jump in and do it anyway. Have I ever pushed her to do anything that was bad for her?? Now, she rides her bike to middle school two miles each way every day. She loves it. She prefers it to the bus. Now she is on the swim team at our fitness club. She is a beautiful, graceful, fast swimmer. She advanced faster than Coach Bill has ever seen anybody advance.

She will succeed with the flute, too. But for now, she is angry and scared. One day, she will be past this difficult time in her life. One day, she will appreciate this. One day, she will love me again.

Oh, and she got a ukulele today from her uncle Greg. She is over the moon about it. I am off to search for a ukulele camp for next summer...

Let's Start a Book Club!

I am a reader. Unabashedly. Always have been. Always will be. Want to read with me? I'm going to start a book club. Right here, right now. Maybe I will be the only person in it. Maybe you will join me. Either way, I'm going to pick the first one. After that, I can entertain options from anyone who chooses to join me.

Since it is almost summer, the first book will be a summer read. This means light and easy and romantic.

Soooooo...

This. From Sophie Kinsella of Shopaholic fame. Her books are always lighthearted and easy to read. I'm going to start it right away. It's already out in libraries and I don't think it will be so popular that you won't be able to get ahold of it. It's already out in paperback, too!

Air Travel These Days

We travel. We have one home in California and one home in Illinois and we go between the two. DH and I have family in Ohio and Virginia, Kansas and Missouri, South Carolina and Florida. We want the girls to see all fifty states before they leave us for their own adult lives. They have been to 23. (Holy cow, we better hurry! A leaves us in five years!) We fly a lot and, as a result, I have become a jerk.

"What do you mean this airport doesn't have a United lounge?"

"What do you mean this United lounge doesn't have oatmeal?"

"What do you mean I'm not in boarding group 1?"

"What do you mean my purse counts as a carry on?"

"What do you mean I have to pay for my dinner? This is a six hour flight - from 4-10 pm - for crying out loud."

"What do you mean we have to walk to the Uber spot? Why can't Uber come to me where I am standing?"

"What do you mean we have to choose between these rental cars? Why can't I have that one over there?"

These are questions I find myself asking, and then I feel like a poop.

I have to work on remembering that I am privileged to live here, privileged to travel, privileged to teach and be a mama and a wife. Shut up and smile.

Are We Pushing Too Hard?

It took me eight years to graduate from college with a B.A. in Sociology. This is not normal. What we are supposed to do is graduate in four years. Because every kid knows what they want to do with their life when they are 17 years old, right? This is reasonable...or not.

In many countries other than ours, a gap year is the norm. Students graduate from high school and then take a year to travel, work, clear their head, sow their seeds, fulfill some sort of religious or familial obligation, or figure out what they want to do.

Many parents are concerned that this will lead to their child not going to college. Not true. In fact, not only do they still go to college, but they go with more of a laser focus and get better grades than they would have if they had gone directly from high school. Look it up. The studies are out there.

When I went to school, I entered as a psychology major, changed my major to English, and then changed it again to sociology. I graduated with every intention of going into federal law enforcement and then became a teacher. Because, duh... Teaching is actually very similar to law enforcement if you ask me.

So here I am, saving for my girls to go to college. I am married to a man who is currently studying for his MBA and I already have my MSEd. If my girls come to me and want to take a year off, will I let them? Yes. Will I still encourage them to further their education? Yes. In their own way and in their own time.